Side effects from reading this post can include: nausia, anal bleeding, thoughts of suicide and death

Nov 19, 2011
Dr. Contradicto

Have you ever noticed that the some of the side effects of pharmaceuticals are worse than the symptoms they are supposed to treat? Take some anti-depressants (no really you’ll need it after this post), they are used to stave off depression, yet right in the side effects it warns of thoughts of suicide. Now I’m not a rocket scientist (nor would a rocket scientist care too much about pharmaceuticals), but thoughts of suicide as a side effect of an anti-depressant sounds counter productive. Even over the counter drugs have recently come under fire for some rare but severe side effects. Acetaminophen, the active ingredient in Tylenol, has been linked to liver damage. So if I take Acetaminophen for a head ache, I may soon have pains in my liver. Sounds like a good trade off.

Some side effects I think show how good the drug actually is. “If you have an erection lasting for more than 4 hours…” That’s not a side effect that is a party.

Here are some interesting side effects of some of the popular drugs. These may be rare, but they are reported as side effects:

  • Ambien (Sleep aid) – Side effect: “suicidal ideation or aggressive behavior” (be on the lookout for violent sleepwalkers)
  • Viagra (to treat Erectile Dysfunction) – Side effects: “Erection lasting more than four hours” “Decrease in vision”. (so skip the bar and pop a Viagra and take that ugly chick back to your place)
  • Lipitor (to treat high Cholesterol) – #1 selling prescription drug in America 2011 – Side effects: “Hepatitis” and “Memory Loss” (So if you weren’t sure if you got the Hepatitis from the ‘not so clean’ person or not, you might have taken Lipitor)
  • Singulair (Allergy Treatment) –  Side effects: “hallucination (seeing or hearing things that are not really there)” and “agitation including aggressive behavior or hostility” (forget the shrooms, if your tripping out on Singulair in the woods, the violent bear you may come across may be your buddy. Just raise your right hand and swear to prevent forest fires – R.I.P. Mitch Hedberg)
  • Lunesta (sleep aid) – Side effect: “Breast enlargement in men” (Warning to the dude with decrease vision taking Viagra, the chick with nice breasts may be a dude taking Lunesta)
  • Seroquel (Anti-Psychotic) – “rectal hemorrhage” (Anal Bleeding) – (So the only blood in the shower is from the Psycho himself…Too far?)

Dr. Contradicto’s Diagnosis: hypochondria Prescription: take a Lipitor and forget all about it.

Conclusion: I assume that prescription drugs are safe when pharmaceutical companies say that the reason why drugs cost so much in America is because the government requires extensive testing to prove the drug is safe before it becomes available.

The prior comments in this post are a collection of information provided by and the respected websites of each brand. This post was not intended to treat any illness or offer any advice, medical or otherwise. Each brand name and/or trademark are property of their respective owners. For more information see the Terms and Conditions page.


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